Common courtesy seems to be a casualty of America’s fast paced, self-centered lifestyle.
People cut each other off on the road. They talk on their cell phones, worried only of their own time and agenda while disregarding others. They race through red lights; speed and swerve through traffic to get one car length closer. They honk and display certain hand gestures, which are usually accompanied by choice language.
At the grocery store, people race to the shortest line in a mad dash to save a few minutes. At the gas station, outgoing patrons barely glance in their rearview mirror before backing out or block other traffic while waiting for a pump.
Rude, thoughtless behavior abounds. Has common courtesy disappeared? If so, is it gone forever? Or can common courtesy, with a little self-evaluation, be resurrected? To these questions, I’m not sure of the answer because courteous behavior is sometimes greeted with disbelief or utter amazement. Take for example, my experience at a gas station.
I had just completed another 8-5 day shift at my desk crafting articles, performing research and other administrative duties. All I wanted was an unsweetened ice tea. I pull into the crowded parking lot, grabbed my wallet, and made my way into the store.
Everything went smoothly. There was plenty of tea, the ice machines were working, and the lids and straws were fully stocked. Not too many people had bombarded the counter yet, so the line moved briskly. I handed the clerk my check card, skipped getting the receipt, and began to exit the store. Then, something unusual happened.
As I returned to my car, another vehicle pulled into the empty spot next to me. I was already at the front of my car and by the time the other driver pulled in and parked, I was at my door. According to the unspoken law of, ‘I was here first,’ so I was well within my rights to make the passenger wait while I hopped into my car. But I decided to wave those rights and wait myself.
I moved to the end of my car, waving to the elderly gentleman in the passenger seat that he could get out—I would wait. He paused, looking shocked that I was willing to wait on him. As he placed his right foot onto the pavement he looked at me again to see if I had changed my mind. I smiled, assuring him that I hadn’t. As he got out of the car he thanked me and, with a smile, made his way into the store.
Another passenger was sitting in the back seat behind him. And in order for her to get out, I would either have to get in my car or continue to wait. She didn’t make a move for the door handle. She just sat back, looking at me as if to say, ‘Are you going to get in your car?’
As I did with the elderly gentlemen, I moved aside and welcomed her to exit. She was just as surprised and grateful as the elderly gentlemen had been. She thanked me too, they went inside, and I got in my car. But as I started my car, something struck me.
Why did they act shocked? Why, even after I assured them I would wait, did they seem to still question me? Then something else occurred to me. They were black and I am white. Had the fact that I’m a young white male willing to wait for a black family been the source of their surprise?
I can’t help but think that if each of us showed a little more common courtesy to all people, no matter what their race, religion, ethnicity, or age, it would help change how people of all backgrounds view one another. It doesn’t have to be something monumental; simply opening the door or waiting a minute longer for someone else might make more of a difference than we will ever know. At the very least, it will result in exchanged smiles and aid in the rebirth of common courtesy.