A core value in American society has long been the commitment of being a good neighbor. The practice of being neighborly has transcended religious subtexts to become a critical component of good citizenship and the general moral standards we collectively ascribe to in daily life. In the distant past, neighborliness was essential for survival, as families pooled resources and labor in order to rise above tough conditions and ensure their own survival. It has become much less essential in our modern world of consumerism, where we no longer rely on others for our basic needs in quite the same way.
Even as today’s world becomes increasingly global, the emphasis on the local community has become somewhat diluted over the past couple of decades. This is due in part to the fact that it’s now completely feasible for people to live comfortably beside each other for decades without knowing even so much as each other’s names. In 1979, President Jimmy Carter, in his famous “Crisis of Confidence” speech, pointed to the so-called erosion of the American value of being neighborly: “In a nation that was proud of hard work, strong families, close-knit communities, and our faith in God, too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns.”
However, the value placed on neighborliness in today’s society has not ebbed. Moving forward in the 21st Century, many even ascribe to the state of neighborliness as a larger indication of the state of our country, the direction in which we move forward and ultimately how we define ourselves as a community. Articles, written extolling the virtues and the gifts of neighborly relations such as Thea Rhiannon’s 2007 Newsweek piece, reflect on the “kind of occasional friendships that people cultivate when happenstance makes them neighbors.”
Some even point to trends that indicate that a revival of the neighborhood is now taking place. As Micki Krimmel, community activist and founder of NeighborGoods.net, points out, “Neighborhoods across the country are taking their communities into their hands. The number of farmers’ markets has more than tripled since the mid-90s. Activists in cities across the country are supporting community projects like urban farming, bicycle lanes, and community art projects. Location-based technologies . . . are exploding in popularity as citizens are seeking to be more connected to their local communities” (2010).
So what is the state of neighborliness in our 21st Century global society?
After all, the ideals that emerge in the media are not always reflected in the day-to-day life of everyday people. Do people today indeed value being neighborly? How big a part does the neighborhood play in daily life? How do people seek to connect with those living around them? In addition, do those connections enrich their lives?
Modern society differs from earlier societies in terms of the pace at which people go about daily living. In the Tri-State area surrounding New York City, many people face long daily commutes and barely have time to spend with their families much less engage in neighborly activities. One family living in the rural suburban borough of Bernardsville, NJ, experienced the effects of this trend. With a population of fewer than 8,000 people and an established downtown area, graphic designer Erika Desimone and her husband Gene felt it was an ideal place to start a family.
However, in this area, the homes are spread out, as most sit on more than an acre of land, which may be a contributing factor to the isolation that this couple has come to feel. Their children are small, ages one and three, and therefore too young to go out and explore the neighborhood. But they have experienced little adult interaction as well, and in fact, only know the names of three of their neighbors on the cul-de-sac. As Erika explains, “People seem to keep to themselves here; there are no block parties, festivals, or large neighborhood parks where families tend to gather.”
She wonders why this dynamic of keeping to oneself seems so ingrained in this town. “Is this because the median income here tends to be higher on average, with a number of households making up some of the wealthiest in the nation? Perhaps these folks want their privacy. Maybe they have vacation homes and spend their leisure time out of town.” Whatever the reason, both she and her husband may eventually settle elsewhere, a place where they “feel part of something bigger.”
However, others living nearby have had a much different experience. Claire Delaney, who resides with her husband and two daughters, ages nine and six, in the small, rather affluent northern New Jersey suburb of Glen Ridge, describes the area as quite focused on neighborliness and the spirit of community. “We all pay attention to each other’s homes and families.
We loan each other tools and borrow ladders from our neighbors’ garages, even if they are not home to ask permission. We water each other’s gardens when we travel and take in each other’s packages, even when we forget to ask.” Despite the harried atmosphere of this region of the country, she feels rooted in her neighborhood, culling a great sense of security from her connections with those around her.
“Both of our children know our neighbors well, which gives me a strong sense of safety about where we live. We differ significantly in terms of politics, religion, and social values, but we share so much by being deeply invested in and committed to the same community.”
Angi and Matt Christiansen, and their daughters, ages 13 and 10, live in the city of Flagstaff in northern Arizona, an area of the country that is geographically and culturally far removed from the East Coast — experienced a similarly supportive community in their working class neighborhood. On their street, everyone actively helps each other, from house sitting to repair work to assisting elderly neighbors in shoveling snow.
This communal spirit is economically driven, as few can afford to pay for extraneous services such as snowplowing or repairmen. However, the connections in their community extend far beyond what they can simply do for one another and have manifested into rich relationships and lifelong friendships. As Angi explains, “I love to visit with the retired couple next door. They sit outside in the sun on warm days and we often chat. I love to hear their stories of when they were young. We bring them cookies and other baked goods, and Bill helps me with things like replacing a water valve and other odd jobs.”
In the southern urban center of Atlanta, GA, single professional Eileen Henry lives in a mixed neighborhood that includes everything from yuppie couples to families with small children to drug dealers. Here, she is fairly isolated, however she ascribes this to her active professional life. As a lawyer, she is “rarely home,” and most of her interactions with neighbors revolve around “just saying hi and waving when I see folks on the street.” However, with the global age, she has a new way to connect with those around her. Her neighborhood participates in an email list serve, where people share information regarding lost pets, contractor recommendations, and neighborhood concerns. Although she has not met many of her neighbors in person, she finds it is a great way to share information and be part of the community.
Carpenter William Machere also lives in a city center. He and his girlfriend reside in an apartment in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, NY, in a culturally and economically diverse neighborhood. Like most New Yorkers, he and his girlfriend must constantly struggle with issues of space when it comes to their neighbors. The walls are thin, the common halls not well maintained, and the building is run down, so everyone has to share in the sounds, sights, and smells of those around them. However, a certain camaraderie is found in all this. For William, “To be a neighbor in New York means being patient. It means understanding that we are all not going to get along. . . . It means coming together with a variety of different cultures over dinner, regardless of what we have in common, food ties us together.”
In early summer 2010, so that her husband could pursue a rare job opportunity in this tough economy, Tami Greene moved with him and their two children, ages nine and seven, from
Arizona to a French-speaking suburb of Montreal. No one in the family speaks French, and this has certainly played a part in their overall experience. She remembers that in the beginning it was hard. “Some [neighbors] were cordial and would nod a bit with an occasional wave.
Others pretended that we simply did not exist. And still others had a curious stare that was followed by a scowl when they saw (and heard) my husband’s loud diesel truck engine and saw the Arizona license plates.” For the Greenes, the breakthrough came when two street hockey nets appeared on their street. Her husband and kids quickly joined in, and she was able to connect with some of the other wives who were also spectators.
Tami recalls, “I think we all realized that day how alike we are in spite of different languages and backgrounds. For us, our neighbors were not neighborly in the traditional sense, but every time the hockey nets come out, we all feel a little more bonded because we share a common passion.”
Despite living in a technological age that demands long work hours and requires constant attention to pressing responsibilities, many Americans in the 21st Century have found profound ways to connect with those around them. The desire for neighborliness seems to transcend economic status, geographic location, and family structure as a more universal value in all of our lives. Perhaps the experience of neighborliness is a personal one, a “life is what you make it” kind of approach. Nonetheless, it seems that the archetype of the good neighbor is alive and well in the 21st Century, and that community remains a critical part of modern everyday life.
Sources:
Carter, Jimmy. 1979. “Crisis of Confidence Speech.” Retrieved on January 8, 2011, from http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/carter/filmmore/ps_crisis.html.
Cheek, Martin. 2004. “The Importance of Being Neighborly.” The Gilroy Dispatch (September 24). Retrieved on January 8, 2011, from http://www.gilroydispatch.com/lifestyles/124889-theimportance-of-being-n....
Krimmel, Micki. 2010. “Consumer or Citizen?” Shareable. Retrieved on January 9, 2011, from http://shareable.net/blog/consumer-or-citizen.
Rhiannon, Thea. 2007. “The Importance of Being Neighborly.” Newsweek (January 8). Retrieved on January 9, 2011,